just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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