It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
