well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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