You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
