I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize