dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
