You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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