I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you didnt know i had herpes?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I party with great urgency now.
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