youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we should paint friendship bongs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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