He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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