her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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