this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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