Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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