i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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