GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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