omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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