when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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