i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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