her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
