i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
