soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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