You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
