Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize