you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize