we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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