Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
