Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My dick has a subreddit
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
