alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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