U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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