it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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