I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's rum buckets o'clock
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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