i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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