well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
