I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
