is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
