she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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