He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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