i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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