Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
