Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
