it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
