oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
