he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
