Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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