I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
