i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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