I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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