i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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