He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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