and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Damn victory sex feels great
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
