My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
