i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
