why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i need some magic done to my vagina
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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