Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't turn off my feet"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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