I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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