Are we in a gay sports bar?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
