That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
