i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize