I will die if light touches me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
